So I've come to yet another realization.. If I were to consider my universe as myself and those who I care about, the division is between myself and them: in the sense that between the two divisions, happiness is inversely proportional. That is how it is...
Let me explain further.. Basically, everyone can only ever be in a good place, if I'm not.. I've seen this time and time again.. As soon as I, undoubtedly with the help of those few, pick myself up and start moving forward, everyone else starts going through Hell. It's as if the universe lays in wait, waiting till I am able to support everyone. And here's the thing..I'd MUCH rather be unhappy myself, than see everyone I care about be unhappy.. That is how I'm made.. But alas, even that I have no control over..
Am I resentful of those I care about? No. Am I resentful resentful of this sadistic dichotomy and the cold hard knowledge that, I'm forced to pick myself up only because everyone else is about to fall? Yes: And tired...so very, very tired..
So, in the words of Robert Frost, “But I have promises to keep.. And miles to go before I sleep.. And miles to go before I sleep"...
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