Honestly, that's fast becoming the burning question in my mind. I keep wondering how much longer I can go on like this; just...floating...through life. I don't really crave anything anymore. Hell, I've even lost my appetite! I guess the significance of that is lost to those of you who don't know me (and if you're seriously reading this and it's not the first one you're reading, I must say I'm surprised you are, to say the least). Let me warn you though, this is just me venting..simply.
Anyway, like I was saying, I barely eat anymore (let alone crave food like I used to). I can't really find motivation within myself to do anything much anymore. Apart from being pragmatic about life, which is all I seem capable of anymore, life just...goes on. I often wonder how much longer I can do this. It's increasingly difficult. Lack of motivation is a terrible thing. Sometimes, I almost feel like I have it; like I could want something. But, it never seems to last anymore.
I find myself living in fantasies I create for myself in my head..well, perhaps “fantasies" isn't the right word. More like possibilities, in the sense that I play out various situations which may stem from a current circumstances. Highly unlikely as they are, I guess at least...they keep my mind occupied. I guess one must be thankful for small mercies.
Anyway, I guess I better get back to the drudgery (hopefully for the last time) which I am procrastinating, although I am well past the reasonable time limit to do so. I'm just glad this might be the final set, because I think I've come to the end of my tether with exams. They only serve to compound the difficulty of the already difficult existence I lead. Oh well, as they say “Life's not fair- deal with it!"
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