I think I know what I want. It doesn't seem like much, and in a sense, I guess it's just a basic human need. I'm not a demanding person, so I don't often want or need much. I'm strong, self sufficient, and generally a positive influence on everyone around me. I try my best, and generally give everything my all. I care about people, and I'm very careful with their emotions and feelings. That's not to say I'm perfect, but at least...I feel I give it my all, enough so that I am the best I can be.
But what I wish is that someone, just one person, would see that, appreciate it, and decide that they want to be there for me. I want someone to, for once, be willing to do for me what I am willing to do for so many. It would make everything so much easier and more worth while, if I could just feel like I'm not alone. Sadly I know since this is me we're talking about, that's a seemingly impossible ask. I get that, but I hate that it is that way. I don't see why I have to be the one who will always give, but never be able to expect in return.....even if “return" is someone simply taking a chance and being willing to be there.
When I say "be there", that's not to mean I have no one- because I do. I have been blessed with a few amazing people in my life, who are generally around. But, that's not the same as one person deciding that they will be there, exclusively for you. That they are taking a chance on you, and regardless of whether they will practically be able to be there when you need them, that they have decided that they will try. Because honestly, all I'm asking for is someone who WANTS to be there, and tries as best as they can. Even if she fails, the very fact that she wants to, would be enough. The very fact that I won't feel bad to reach out to her when I'm feeling low, and hopeless, that is pretty much all I ask for. For that, I'd be willing to give her the world. I just wish that wasn't asking for too much.
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